I was a popular kid. I was also the smartest kid in the kampong (village) where I lived. I had good grades and ended up in a reputable secondary school. My parents saw the need to protect and shelter me from the “unhealthy” influence of the other children. I had never learned properly how to have spiders for a pet, how to make and fly my own kites, how to duel with marbles, etc..
I grew up to become an awkward teenager. I was taller than most people my age. Forget the tall, dark, and handsome. I was tall. Full stop.
In return for giving me the gift of height, the good lord took away dark, and handsome. I could never hold a tan. My skin turned red, like a cooked- crab, after a short exposure under the sun. Within a short time, the skin would turn fair, without a hint of tan.
Besides tall, I was bony. No matter how much I ate, and I ate a lot during those days, all growth seemed to be limited to the vertical direction. All the rest of the food either gets perspired away, (I sweated liked nobody else I knew) or they got converted into oils, to be expired through my face.
My face was riddled with pimples. I couldn’t have a decent conversation with the opposite sex without them feeling threatened – A pimple would “burst” in the midst of conversation, and the creamy, oily and bloody liquid would spurt out. If she was lucky, the projectile would not reach her and fall harmlessly on the table between us.
Life was lonely as a teenager. The only reason gals would talk to me was because I was funny. I’d learned how to make people laugh, so I became quite popular in a group. The other reason was that in a group, people sat further away from me, and thus would not be within the range of the spurts from my exploding pimples.
Life was lonely as a teenager. Have I said that already? Yes, it was very lonely. After all the laughter and fun of group activities, I ended up alone, while healthy teenagers with raging hormones paired off to do whatever it was that they did in those days. Occassionally, I did have company of friends. These are guys who were free for the time being – their between relationships period, where they needed guy company to do guy things, like talking about soccer and ogling at species with long hair, protruding chest or bum.
Life was lonely as a teenager. Yes, I know I’ve mentioned it before. I didn’t like living with my parents, so for some time I lived with my granny. It was an old HDB block, only 4 storeys high, and situated in front of a railway track. Many evenings had I wandered around the neighbourhood, my favourite place being a garden some 200m away. I liked to stroll in the darkness. Often, I would lie down on a granite rock, looked at the stars above, and day dream.
Life was lonely as a teenager. This is an important fact that warrant repeating because it set the stage for who and what I became later in life. On this granite rock that I have mentioned, I had looked at the twinkling lights in the heavens above, and made a promise. It was a good 20 years or so later before I could even start to fulfill it. All the rest of the years, I was mainly lonely….
(to be continued…)
